True Freedom

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Our country achieved freedom from foreign rule 67 years back, but have we attained true freedom yet…?

As a life coach I come across  many people during my talks and workshops. The one thing I find common in most of them is that they are not free. Rather, most are imprisoned in the self created web of guilts, regrets, hurts, fears, self doubts, limiting self beliefs, etc. This happens with all of us. The web gets denser and stronger day by day, and a point comes when we feel impossible to break through it and get out. We become prisoners.

I know of a lady who has gone through lot of suffering in her life for almost a decade after her marriage. She was married in a joint family and was ill-treated by her in-laws. As a result she went through a lot of trauma. After about 10 years of marriage the couple moved out of the house and the family business into an independent life. But even today when we meet she talks only about those 10 years of distress in her life.

Once she told me , “I want to try your PLR therapy. I am curious to find out how my in-laws were related to me in my past birth. They have made my life miserable.”

“Sure we can. But what is the problem now? You are the master of your own life . I feel it is high time you let go of the past.” I replied.

“You don’t understand. It is easier said than done. They have spoiled 10 beautiful years of my life. How can I let go?” she said somewhat irritated.

I realized that she had completely ensconced herself in the self created web of victimhood. So much so that she was thriving on the sympathy gained from people around her and was comfortable living that way.

When we are born, we are free spirits. We can easily cry, laugh , make mistakes, forgive people, and let go. we don’t carry any baggage. Hence as a child we can experience freedom. Nothing is impossible for a small child. He is ready to explore anything because he lives in that space of ‘freedom’, where everything is a possibility.

Then what happens as we grow…? We are told, ” you are a grown up boy now and boys are not supposed to cry!” or “you are a girl, you are not supposed to laugh so loudly!”,” What will people say?”, “you should do this and you shouldn’t do this”. ” you cannot think in a particular way” and stuff like that…Our life slowly gets defined by the dos and don’ts of the society. Without realizing we get moulded in a way people  around us want us to. Even the freedom of thoughts is taken away from us. We are supposed to think how other people want us to think. Sounds ridiculous, but its true, and we start living a life of others. Slowly we start thinking that this is how life has to be lived, in a set pattern, confined and defined by the society, caged in the negative beliefs.

To experience true freedom we need to go back to the time when we were born…. by stripping off the layers of conditioning around us and letting free that inner child. Do what we always wanted to do in life rather than being dictated by others around us. We must realize our true potential to achieve greatness in life. We need to break free from the cage of dogmas, set patterns limited self beliefs, feeling of being victim, helplessness, fears, deceits and other negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, resentment, guilt, and regret….. and live as if “Sky is Not the Limit”…..  in True Freedom.

Question life at every step

Don’t follow society’s laws blindly. Each life is different.

At the age of 4, your parents enroll you into school. After you pass out of school, you go to college. Even if you graduate, you just have to get a masters degree because you won’t get a good job until you have one. If you can get an MBA, even better! You’ll score an awesome job! After that, you have to get married and within a few years, have children. Now get them admitted into the best schools and colleges, their life depends on it! After that’s settled, get them married. Once you have grand children, hurrah, your life is complete! You can securely retire from your job so you can rest and spend time with your grandchildren. Maybe even use this time to finally think about spirituality, God and death; until the day finally arises, where you have to leave this planet. That’s life, as society dictates it.

Sounds quite fair, if that’s what you want to do in life. But millions of people go through this pre-decided process even without giving a single thought to whether they really want to go through it. Have you ever questioned yourself about what you want?

Think about this, if you only had one year to live, what would you do? In an instant, you would forget everything that anyone has ever told you and think about yourself, your needs and goals. You’d probably make a list too. So why not think about it now?

As a past life regression therapist, I have taken people into their past lives to relieve the negative emotions of those memories. I have noticed that during these sessions, most people die with the regret that they could not do what they wanted to.

That is why it is so important to question ourselves at each and every step. Are you doing something because you really want to do it or because it’s the norm? I have myself faced such a situation and made the wrong decision.

When I was in school, I liked painting, playing cricket and singing more than math and science. After every result day, I’d spend my time cheering up friends and making them smile. I was very happy doing this. But at the end of school, when I had to make a decision about what to study in the future, I was confused. My family said that boys do not take up arts, so that was out of the question. According to them, I should become an engineer or a doctor. All my friends in school signed up for the pre-engineering test, and so did I. To my surprise, I passed the test and got into an engineering college, and became an engineer by default. After passing out of college, I was offered a job in a reputed company in Mumbai, so I took it up. After 17 years in the corporate world, I realized that I am meant to do something else. But it wasn’t too late. I made a correction and became a life coach.

Like me, there are so many people who say they took up the wrong job, made wrong decisions and ended up at the place, far away from where they wanted to be.

This is why it is so important to ask, is this really what I am meant to do? Do I really want to get married, and when? Do I really want to have children, and when? Am I studying something I am interested in? I have finished my education, do I really want to get a job now, or do something else? Don’t follow society’s law blindly. Each life is different.

As parents we need to always support our children with their decisions. The upcoming generation has the potential to break society’s barriers and dogmas which have existed for thousands of years. Don’t label children, who ask why or do only what they want to, as rebellious. They are giving rise to a more inquisitive and progressive society.